Well it's been a while since my last post. I know this is not concerning to anyone. Why should it be? ... Well, I'm not here to debate the significance of taking an interest in other people's lives; however, I move off of that subject after a brief quote from someone I know, "The affairs of others are of no consequence to me."

Well, I am here to discuss something on a completely different topic. I've been wondering about being involved in something to the point that despite the pain and anger it causes you keep returning to it, because in someways it really isn't hard. It's something you want to do, but it will hurt you at times, but you continue regardless. I have never really been in that sort of situation before. In some ways I would like to be. I want to be caught in something I feel I can't quit or something I must stick with till the end. I feel my lack of commitment and interest and things has hindered me in someways. I feel I get more caught up in situations that are hopeless, situations where I have no escape despite how much I want to leave. The situations I speak are not of true pain, but of misery. They are not really harming me, but they are not where I want to be. I think the reason I want to be caught up in something with both good and bad things is that I want to find my place. My entire life I've had this feeling that everybody has that one thing that they are great at. Everyone has that one special talent. I've never had one. I mean I never been terrible at anything, but I've never been very good at anything. As I try to find this calling or niche, I feel lost. I just want to find my place, but as of yet that seems hopeless. But just maybe, that's the way it's meant to be. Maybe some people are meant to be on the eternal quest. Maybe searching is their calling? I really don't know, and I think I will never find out, but at least I can still hope.